Question
Why does $R_3P = O$ exist but $R_3N = O$ does not (R = alkyl group)?

Answer

$R_3P = 0$ exists but $R_2N = 0$ does not exist because N- due to the absence of d-orbitals cannot form $\text{d}\pi-\text{p}\pi$ multiple bond thus N- cannot expand its covalency beyond the 4.
On other hand P due to having d- oribital forms $\text{d}\pi-\text{p}\pi$ mutiple bonds and hence can expand covalency beyond 4.
thus $R_3P = 0$ exists but $R_2N = 0$ does not exist.

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